GROWTH AND DREAD 2 (100K SPECIAL)

A TWENTY-SOMETHING YEAR OLD MUSES ABOUT ADULTING

When I was 19, I had a bit of an early quarter-life crisis. I realised that I was about to vacate ‘teenagehood’, and in my head, that meant that I was about to become a full-fledged adult.

And being an adult terrified me. To my core.

You see, when I was 16, I had a very utopian idea of what adulthood would be. I thought I was going to seamlessly cruise into it and acquire everything I ever wanted in a laughable amount of time. In my calculations, in fact, I was going to become a billionaire by the age of 24.

I’m going to be 24 this year. My 16-year-old self could not have been more delusional about what my finances would look like at age 24.

But I was a child, and as a child, the freedom of adulthood was very appealing. As a teenage child especially, the thought of being allowed to live my own life the way I wanted to live it, without having anyone dictate how my life would be lived, was particularly alluring. And so, I could not wait to become an adult.

Anyways, at age 19, I was already in the university, in my third year, and it was quickly dawning on me that adulthood presented a plethora of terrifying challenges, to wit – bills, responsibilities, social expectations, career challenges and the likes. The thought of those aspects of adulthood were, to say lightly, mortifying. More mortifying was the knowledge that I could not escape them, that I could not wrap myself in the cocoon of the safety of childhood, that I could not go to Neverland and be a child forever. No, I was going to grow up, pay taxes, get a job, live alone and figure life out.

Now, I’m 23. I’m done with both university and the Nigerian Law School. For the first time in a very long time, I have left the structured institution of academia, and I am out in the real world. I’ve gotten a job, my tax ID, and my driving learner’s permit. I’m expected to begin a pension plan. My job offers health insurance. I’ve received my first official paycheck as a lawyer. I no longer get a monthly allowance from my parents. A few days ago, I began studying about investing and savings, getting myself acclimatised with words like mutual funds and stocks and treasury bills and ETFs. I’m currently looking towards getting a place and a car of my own.

I’m adulting.

Due to the fact that I am just setting out on my adulting journey, the questions, What are your plans for the next 5 years?  and, What do you intend to do with your life? are becoming more frequently asked. The pressure of these monumental questions looms over my head and quite honestly stresses me out. You see, the blueprint of my life is not clearly sketched out. I mean, I have an idea of what I would like to do, and I know what I definitely would not want to do, but I believe that I would have to be patient, trust God and allow my life to unfold bit by bit.

If you were to read my first blog post, I talked about wanting to live like Wole Soyinka, in a brick house in the middle of a forest. Maybe sometime later that can be a reality, but it’s not my reality right now. I wanted to live a life where I could just write in the comfort of solitude and have all my biggest dreams as a writer come to pass. That is a reality I’ve not cancelled out. I still believe that I can live that life. Maybe not now, but sometime in the future. But right now, I’m at the bottom of the labour pyramid, and I’ve come to realise that I simply do not have the luxury to completely abandon the practice of the law and focus squarely on my writing. At least not yet. I need a salary to function. I can combine both for now.

Anyways, I might be a young adult, new to the experience, but I’ve learnt a few things so far. First, I’ve learnt to take things easy on myself. I’ve been thrust into a fast-paced work environment where I have to learn things on the go and learn them fast. It’s been a while since I’ve felt so much like a novice, scrambling to get ahead of things, desperate to impress. I’ve managed to navigate living in a brand new city, and finding my way around places, even though, I must admit I’ve gotten lost once or twice. I’ve learnt to use new software, learnt new methods of doing things, and I have had to come to terms with the fact that I might make a lot of mistakes whilst trying to navigate things. I just have to take things easy and deal with things one day at a time. Trying too hard to figure things all out will just be a futile effort on my part.

Second, I’ve learned that my decisions now have real, actual, serious consequences. I can no longer afford to be reckless in making even the tiniest decisions in my life, because I am at a point in which a single decision could spell out the next couple of decades of my life. Decisions like the place I would like to live, the career path I have chosen, the practice area that I work under in my firm, and the way I spend my money, are decisions that are life-defining and ones that I cannot just make on a whim.

Third, I’ve learned that this is the period not to joke with God and my relationship with Him. If there is any time in which I cannot afford to rely only on my fickle wisdom, that I cannot afford to miss my quiet time and draw closer to God, it is right now at such a sensitive season of my life. I have learned that this is the time to trust God the most and follow his decisions for my life, even when I might not know where he may be heading me towards.

And finally, I’ve learned to get comfortable with change. There are a lot of changes going on in my life. My address has changed, relationships have changed, my parents’ house is no longer my permanent home address, but just a place where I can visit during holidays, there are many friends of mine that I might not see physically for years. My life as I used to know it is literally getting upended, and I have to get comfortable with it. Otherwise, I will not be able to adjust effectively.

So yeah, the period of my life that I used to desire, then dread, is finally upon me. I’m finally adulting. Wish me luck.

This is an ode to my first-ever blog post, which was made back in 2022. When making my first post, I had no idea what I was doing, and whether my blog would even gain any visibility, but today, in 2026, I’m proud of the progress the blog has made. The blog gets about 3000 to 6000 monthly views, and it is currently at 125k plus total views. Thanks to everyone who has ever found my writing relevant enough to read and leave comments, and cheers to greater heights.